Mediation may help to guide you through a difficult or complicated divorce
Whether you’re in the middle of a separation, have been separated for a while, or are going through a divorce, sometimes communicating with your ex-partner can be complex. Finding a way to agree on arrangements for the children, property, and financial matters during this time isn’t always easy. That’s why many people consider mediation, to move through this process and ultimately make it easier in the long run for everyone involved.
What is family mediation?
Family mediation is designed to help families and individuals resolve the divorce process in a constructive way. While mediation is not a form of counselling, or about reconciling with your ex-partner, it does provide a non-confrontational way for the two of you to come together. Discussions take place on neutral ground and aim to find a way forward on those all-important decisions. Using an impartial mediator to guide and inform you both gives you a way to agree arrangements without the need to go to court or the prospect of further expense.
How does divorce mediation work?
The role of a mediator is to be impartial and balanced – it’s not about them favouring one of you over the other. Rather than providing legal advice, they will offer information and guidance around the sorts of things you and your ex-partner need to consider during the divorce.
It’s confidential
Unless there are specific (rare) circumstances, anything discussed is kept confidential. If mediation does not work for you and things then proceed to court, the court is generally not told why mediation was unsuccessful.
What are the benefits of divorce mediation?
Separation and divorce can be an emotional time for all involved. One of the main benefits of mediation is that the presence of an impartial, independent mediator can help you both to discuss things, in a calm and conflict-free way. Mediation can also help you to avoid lengthy court proceedings, not to mention the high costs and levels of stress that these can result in.
Mediation is a voluntary choice and not a compulsory requirement
Either you or your ex-partner can halt the process at any time. That said, most family courts increasingly expect families to attempt mediation before the process moves on to the next stage. Plus, mediation is not suitable for everyone – do take advice from your solicitor on your individual case beforehand.
Mediation can be a very positive way to bring things to a resolution that is fair for all parties. You as the clients are in control and can figure out how you want the divorce and the longer-term agreements to work. The benefit is that you and your ex-partner get more say in the outcome during mediation, rather than having a court decide for you.
Bear in mind, too, that any proposals will only become legally binding if parties instruct their solicitors to draw up these documents as an agreement.
Finally, Mediation can be a good way to improve communication at this time. It can also pave the way to better, more positive and calmer communication as you both move ahead into the future.
How do I find a good divorce mediator?
Recommendations from people who have been through the process of mediation are often helpful.
Many mediators and specialists in family law typically offer a free initial consultation of about 30 minutes, and it’s always a good idea to take them up on it. Ideally, these free sessions will help you to gauge whether a mediator will be a good fit for you and your circumstances. After all, these professionals are going to be guiding you through an emotional process, so it’s vital that you have a good relationship.
How do I prepare for divorce mediation?
Before mediation can start, your chosen mediator will discuss whether the process is right for you. Normally, this involves a mediation information meeting (MIAM) or first meeting. Then, if it is a suitable option, an appointment is usually made for you and your ex-partner to start mediation. Your team will brief you on what to expect and the aim is to work with both of you impartially, to reach a fair and amicable solution.
The mediator will then produce a mediation certificate. This is a simple court form that is signed by the accredited family mediator. It shows the court that mediation has been considered or has been attempted, which is a requirement of the court. The certificate usually costs around £85.
How long does the mediation process take in divorce?
Every case is different and has its own complexities. As a rule of thumb, most mediation is concluded between two and five joint sessions, but it may be longer or shorter depending on the circumstances. In most cases, mediation can be a less stressful experience for everyone, compared to other processes.
